Goobye

Sunday night. November 22, 2010. 12:09 am.

Enigma- Return to Innocence on repeat

I leave for Santiago in the morning at 8:30 am. My host brother Alexi is taking Susan y yo en la manana.

I’ve been writing thank you letters to all the people that have staked their love onto my heart.

When I first decided to come down here and do this program it never crossed my mind that leaving would be hard, especially this hard. I thought I would finish up and move forward, back to my life in the State’s. Nope, not the case. I had to tell my host dad goodbye tonight because he will already be at work when we leave. Tough. I have to tell my host mother, the essence of kindness and love goodbye tomorrow. Even tougher.

Thankyou, thankyou Punta Arenas. You have given me perspective on life, love and what it means to appreciate … everything. You changed my insides, that’s some pretty powerful Patagonian magic if I do say so myself.

“It’s not the beginning of the end, it’s the return to yourself… the return to innocence”- I’m not even embarrassed.

Goodbye Patagonia, you captured my heart.

"Given the choice between the experience of pain and nothing, I would choose pain." — William Faulkner

Last day. Sunday, November 21, 2010. There’s no way this I can conjure one cohesive blog, so this may be a little cryptic.
You should see my bedroom, it’s like a mini hurricane came through and greeted my closet, suitcase, drawers and every other corner of this already compact room.

We had a snow storm last night. Remember folks, we’re well into spring here, as in summer starts the first of December. The last few day’s we’d been teased with a sprinkle of snow here and there, but last night we had a bigger snow than ol’ South Carolina could muster on its coldest months. So, to sum up the weather in Punta Arenas… I will be leaving in the same conditions I arrived in, cold, wet and rainy/snowy.

Friday night, we had a meeting/fiesta for the volunteers thrown by the Chilean Ministry of Education. We received a diploma (I still don’t really understands its significance but it’s better in situations like this to not ask questions and just roll with it). We then had some snacks… salami I might add. I’m pretty sure my roommate, Susan, and I cleaned them out before anyone else had the chance. My host teacher’s presented me with roses from my superintendent. Afterwards I was whisked away by my two Chilean fairy godmothers, Nelda and Danica (both co-teachers). We went back to Danicas house where I was given a book of Chileanismo’s (I have become addicted to finding all the Chilean slang I can, so Nelda couldn’t have given me a better gift… RIGHT ON CHICA!). We snacked and drank PiscoSours, which may be my taste buds favorite experience down here. My male co-teacher, Angel, dropped in to bid me farewell, truly a darling man… he’d written the sweetest thankyou card and gave me a bag I’m sure you’ll see me carrying at some point in the States. After our snacks and drinks we ventured out to La Marmita’s (Which means little cauldron) … it was one of the most adorable restuarante’s I have ever been in. Danica had pre-ordered our meal because we were having Curanto a seafood dish from Chiloe that has to be buried and cooked for a few hours… and let me tell you it was some kinda good. It had clams, mussels, smoked pork, salmon, chicken, cabbage, potatoes (duh) and was placed in the middle of the table for everyone to enjoy. We had a PiscoSour to start… this place claimed to have the best so we had to try it of course… and yes, it was the best. I snagged the recipe to take back home to ol’ SC (I think I may even make my mom try this sweet little concoction). After dinner around 1130 we headed back to Danica’s house for more gossip and gushing. Danica gave me a truly unique scarf, we chatted drank more wine and I fell asleep. Ha, around 230 we decided it was time to call it a night so Danica drove Nelda and I home.

I cried. Like a baby. Getting out of the car. I don’t know if these two women will ever understand how much they mean to me. My experience here was made because of their Chilean love and openness to the little foreign non-speaking Spanish gringa. They both taught me how to be a better teacher by showing me that although kids can be challenging, superintendent’s can be terrible, and janitors are actually the superintendent’s peeping-toms… it’s all worth it because… ha, well because… ummmm… I had it…

Because we’re teachers and it’s pretty kick butt we want to go in and fight the fight everyday so little people can go out into the world and make something of themselves, if they chose to of course. Ha.

Here’s to teachers!

The rest of the weekend has basically been all the volunteers not wanting to leave each other’s sides while stalking our Chilean friends… because, well it’s over and these people that have been part of our Punta Arena’s lives … they’re family. We’ve faced all this together; we’ve been each other’s shoulders, hands, eyes and heart at one point or another.

Volunteers in Fuerto Bulnes, confused as usual

I head out tomorrow morning for Santiago.

All the roads that lead you there are winding...

How is this possible, it’s over?


I’m so confused right now. My emotions have jumped from peacefully striding along in a world I had finally figured out to this… new phase.

I’m tired of new phases.

I treated myself to a celebratory Italian dinner tonight, Punta Arenian style. We were greeted with an unhelpful weight staff and garlic mayo… I’d say that’s pretty Chilean. I enhanced my already full figure with some lasagna noodles and bolognese sauce, yum-O. My good friends Keeley (who will be traveling alongside me for the next couple of weeks) and Michelle joined me. We discussed how we were planning to fix the universe, what makes Chile such a wonderful place and of course how Latin men really understand the true meaning of romance.

I said goodbye to my fellow teachers today, I kissed all of my students so long and I tried not to cry for a full 24 hours. All in a good day’s work I’d say.

I’m emotionally spent. For so long I was trying to create this niche for myself; a place where I could feel normal within this seaport Chilean city. Then one day I stopped trying because it came naturally…

A morning wake-up from my Chilean family complete with reggaeton and cigarette smoke to awaken me from my peaceful dreams.
The good morning exchange crossed between me and the bicycle man, “Hola Senor, Buenos Dias”, “Hola Mes, como esta?” It was never more than this but has become somewhat ritualistic.
Walking through massive amounts of the “little ones” to get to my classroom, always complete with kisses, hugs and HELLO MEEES’s!
Staring at my adorable high school students who didn’t want to speak English anymore than I wanted to speak Spanish.
…
There’s so much more I could add to this list. What started as an adventure here has become a life, and one that I have I learned to love. This city has given me graciousness, patience, and well… perspective.

I have been blessed with people who have taught me that life, your life, is what you make it. No more than that. Things happen we can’t control, we make bad decisions but what matters is your heart and where it lies.

I’ve seen some of the most majestic mountains in the world; I’ve had the opportunity to see things that could not have been constructed from anyone or anything but God himself. All of this gave me an assurance that Jesus is always surrounding me; his creation is mother Earth (pasha-mama), how could you deny him when staring at towers that point to his kingdom. I think this is what I’m going to miss the most…

man it’s so simple here… I think we could all use some Chilean perspective in our lives.

the Purple Bowl

 

Reflection from a Chilean perspective cont.

Our arrival to Punta Arenas was actually nothing short of a scene from a horror film. That Monday went a little something like this...

en la aeropuerta the day we flew to Punta Arenas, ignorant smiles...

7 am wake up and bored a bus to the Santiago Airport. We have a flight delayed for a little over 5 hours. But of course seeing as how this is Chile no one can explain why or even if we are actually going to fly out that day or not. So, we just hang out in limbo trying to stay calm.

This is funny for anyone who has ever eaten a meal with me. For our last semi-American meal we decided to grab a sandwich from this little deli. Everyone ordered delicious turkey, avocado and tomate sandwiches on toasted bread. Because if we learned anything in our training the week before is that we couldn’t expect vegetables or fruits down South, but we could look forward to gaining at least 5 kilos (about 11 lbs).Not me, I couldn’t order that… I had to be adventurous and get the salami, pickle, sweet mustard and wheat on non-toasted bread. This probably seems insignificant to most of you, but it is something that still upsets me. It was my last shot you see… PA as glorious as it is has some of the worst food ever, and I just speeded up the terrible food process that afternoon.

Okay, so finally we board around 3:30 and take off for what is supposed to be a five hour flight. Apparently, the Chilean government didn’t want to shell out the extra $50 for a straight flight so they put us on the cargo-esque plane that had to land twice before arriving in PA. Between the motion sickness and pickle sandwich I ate before boarding… well you get the picture. We finally arrived in Punta Arenas at about 10:30 and were picked up by a Chilean gentleman missing most of his teeth, who (you guessed it) didn’t speak English and was driving a little red pick-up. He threw our luggage in the truck bed (no matter the snow or rain, it’s just the only possession’s we have for four months) and we squeezed into the cab. In that car ride I really began thinking about my life and how much I had enjoyed it to this point, how much I loved my family… things of nature. I mean that’s what you naturally do when are preparing for your death, right? Ahhh, haha. Unbelievably, we made it to the hotel where the other girls would be staying sin (without) Merrette.

I had been thinking they surely wouldn’t take me to meet my host family that night. I would just go to the hotel with the other girls and sleep off that dreadful day.

Oh Merrette, you silly gringa, of course you’re going to meet your host family tonight. It’s only 11:00, it’s still early!

So, I say my farewells to the other volunteers and climb into the truck with the missing toothed gentlemen and our coordinator Lorena.

Lorena- basically the worst excuse for a coordinator I have ever met in my life. And. And. And. She barely speaks English. Grrrrrrr.

So, they take me to my non-English speaking host family. Now, I love my host family, and I love our home, it’s perfect. But, that first night when I had to pull a string to go through a tin door and then walk past orange caution tape (that I now know is used as a volleyball net by my brother), two different clothes lines, and around a garage with interesting looking tools to a “back-house”…

So, they are going to kill us one at a time, make it look more accidental. Nobody will notice just one missing gringa.

mami y ella casa

Remember everybody, I AM OKAY. This is all part of the culture; I just didn’t know it yet. I am really safe here and somebody would definitely miss me if I went missing.

I starred at my new Spanish family and slept with my door locked that night; I woke up at 11:00 am the next day…

and well, the rest is history.

Looking back, with a little Chilean perspective

Tuesday. November 16, 2010. 10:33 en la manana. I am sitting in the teacher’s room. Listening to the Avett Brothers (duh… I seriously should think about purchasing new music sometime in the near future). I’m trying to keep it together because this time next week Punta Arena’s will no longer be a part of my life.

Santiago

My whole life I have been the type of person who acts and then thinks… somehow this has truly affected my entire outlook on life. For instance, the day before I left for Santiago and began this excursion, I laid- out with a few girlfriends and didn’t think too much about… well anything except that I wanted a tan. Then I got off a 14 hour flight and had a minor freak out. Silently of course, I didn’t want to give away the fact that I was a naive southern belle who had never EVER really been anywhere before and decided to go to a country where she not only didn’t speak the language but could not even understand it.

I keep thinking back to that first week, when I was in Santiago: meeting dozens of new people, unable to locate a Burger King, McDonalds, Chick-fil-A or a Wendys.

Ya’ll I had never even lived somewhere that doesn’t have at least 3 accessible Chick-Fil-A’s. The only thing I kept thinking was, “WHAT AM I DOING HERE”.

Me being the person I am immediately began evaluating/talking with/interviewing the other volunteers: travel experience, Spanish speaking ability and just general attitude to the strange Chilean no time frame and constantly confused lifestyle.

I ask millions of questions, sometimes after I have a conversation with people I feel they walk away wondering if they got the job…

I quickly realized that most of the 64 of us apparently either taught Spanish back in the States, majored or minored in Espanol, had lived in at least 2 other Spanish speaking countries, or had at least one parent that was Latin… and everyone, I mean everyone had lived abroad at some point or another.

Me: “So, You’re a translator and you’ve been teaching Spanish to autistic children for the last 2 years”.
Otra Volunteer: “Yeah, I mean I could never go to a country and not speak the language, that would be awful”.
Me: ………… yeah, so stupid……………………

This happened, this conversation actually happened.

I began praying… rampantly… I think the whole time I’ve been down here has been like one long prayer… I don’t feel the need for Amen anymore, that’s a waste his and my time.

My time in Santiago was amazing. Nothing short of amazing. I took in the city like it was a piece of my mom’s red velvet cake. I couldn’t get enough, the mountains, the night life, even the English Opens Doors classes were bearable. It was so new, I was amazed. It wasn’t that I had never been to a city before or that I hadn’t met new people…

But there’s something else to being in a foreign place for the first time in your life. It’s like you’re waking up to a new reality and there is no option but to mold yourself into this new existence, or leave of course.

I made it but man was it ugly. I heard this more than a few times that week, “I have never met anyone like you before Merrette…..” it would always kind of trail off. I would just smile and walk away; not really wanting to know what was on the other end of that period.

Me in Santiago (pre 6 kilos)

Within that first week I managed to: lose my new cell phone the first day I bought it and lose my key to our hostal room only to find it the last day I was in Santiago. Luckily, I have been in Merrette training for about 23 years now so whereas some people would be upset, this at least was the one thing that felt normal.

So, I left Santiago and headed down South. I think a few people had bets going if I would make it or not, but I can’t be sure on this.

Now, that I have lived here for 4 months and my mom knows that I am okay, I feel I can share more openly with you...

The beginning of the end.

Esta bien, so although I have been pretty dog-on busy down here lately somehow I find myself sitting in bed, in my pajamas, drinking café y stalking the internet… usually this is around 2 pm. Don’t ask me how or why it’s just my way. Anyhow, my blog is pretty boring compared the others that I read pero es lo que hay (but it is what it is). I’m going to give you the links for a couple of real gems.


The first one is Cachando Chile (Getting Chile). She explains the significance of the title …but basically a word used around here a lot is cachay- “do you get it”. As one can imagine this is the first Chilenismos I learned… and I never got it. jajaja. It gives a great perspective of Chilean customs from the eyes of a gringa.
http://cachandochile.wordpress.com/

Segunda, is something I just recently found. It is promoting the use of Solar Energy in Africa as a means to provide jobs and energy (electrical power). It’s really interesting and one of the professors at Universidad de Maganallanes promotes this idea in her blog which is how I found out about it.
http://solar-aid.org/about/did-you-know.html

Tercer, is a website for women who were forced/enslaved into prostitution in India. Basically, these women hand-make pajamas and all of the proceeds go towards the foundation Punjammies which provides psychological intervention, housing, food, etc. Pretty amazing if you ask me.
http://www.punjammies.com/pages/the-story-of-punjammies

Anyhow. Punta Arenas and I have one more week together. I’m trying to keep it together, but it’s getting to that point when everything feels significant, entiende (understand)?

Por le ejemplo: Watching my host mom prepare our Sunday lunch… siempre (always) roasted chicken, papas (potatos), lechuga (lettuce with salt, oil, and limon).

Ahorra (now) my host mom has the purple bowl out.

The purple bowl- is used when she makes pan dulce (candy/sweet bread) basically this can be anything from empanadas, sopapillas, calzones rotos (torn panties)… basically the reason a couple pairs of my pants don’t look so hot on me anymore.

… I’m going to investigate.

updates

Lo siento for taking such a long time to update. Since, it has been so long and so much has happened I’m going to do a run down. And for a side note, I have about one week and three days left in glorious Punta Arenas… and honestly I’m not ready to go yet. Uh-oh.


Since my last blog about my incredibly terrible/wonderful Wednesday I have, in this order:

1. Visited a Chilean orphanage.

2. Been to Argentina and seen the largest floating glacier in the world.

3. Witnessed a two hour acto (like a talent show for high schoolers) that the kids did entirely in English. I wish I had a scale that could display the TREMENDOUS effort and wonderfulness of this. My student’s (well they’re not all mine, I do have 4 other co-teachers) were able to get on stage and speak, sing, act, and memorize English that they presented to their fellow peers… VIVO LICEO EXPERIMENTAL!

4. Learned the meaning of the words (all of these are Chileanisms for anyone who reads this and does speak Spanish, I promise I’m not making them up)

a. tuto- sleepy

b. carne de perro- someone who is very determined and tough

c. Lokita- little crazy (my favorite)

d. Linda- it’s like when we use the word cute or pretty (I’ve known this one, but I really like it)

5. Translate a description of the film 8 Mile written in Espanol for one of my students… very proud of this feat.

6. Cried because I am leaving

7. Been to a 12 dollar all you can eat carne (meat) buffet. This was in Argentina and how it works is; a waiter comes to your table every 15 minutes and brings you different types of meat until you beg him to stop. We had lamb, cow, calf, deer, rabbit, intestines, chicken and choro (chorizo, sausage). Let me tell you… it was yummmm-O

8. Attempted the Cabbage Soup Diet… don’t worry it lasted 2 days.

So, like… see you soon.